be it forever

我的心很痛，什么办。

2pm

I hate my life so much, I hope I will sleep and never wake up again.

11pm

Why doesn’t you know that what I’ve been doing is because i care I jealous. Since this is what you want I will not fucking care anymore!

11pm

So fucking disappointed, I will never forget how you hide your phone and even said me back, i will never forget. I guess I will not give in this time round, there’s nothing from stopping me for angrying at you.

11pm

Some random thoughts, been asking myself will I really able to pretend nothing happened and joke about it everytime? The feeling really suck max, or rather numb of it. I know it’s not your fault at all but who can I blame? Myself? No right, I can’t even show my unhappiness at all. When can all these msg things stop? I hate myself because I can’t do anything about it. I wonder why am I in this world so meaningless so useless I sucks in everything. I felt Im wearing a happy mask everything I seem to avoiding something i don’t wish to face. I hate being left alone i tend to think a lot and thats the time when I have to realize something that I not supposed to know. Wished that I am a simple minded person guess there’s always something better to be left unknown. Think i know too much things that I hope I will never know. Is so sufferin I have to fight with my inner pretending like there’s nothing happen and smile pretending I’m okay with everything or am i really okay with anything. Guess i can’t find my true self, my mask is winning is covering myself. Need to sort out my own feeling. O well I typing a passage of rubbish goodnight

2am

I know I’m the worst girlfriend you can find. If you cannot stand me anymore you have the choice to leave me.

12am

You don’t have to ask me whether I want you to go or stay. You should know the best. But seem like you choose to walk out of me again. O well I know is im the one who ask you to go, serve me right

12am

Fuck it la I very tired. All you know is just assuming and assuming, what’s more?

12am

I just want you to hug me tight when I cried why can’t you do so?

12am

If there’s nothing to hide you would have tell me months ago, you wouldnt have face your phone downward when I’m around you, you wouldnt so scare when I hold your phone longer for more than few seconds. Hello I am not stupid.

1am

I don’t know for fuck I so faithful to you for? For fuck I take it as nothing happened for all these months? Come on can you explained all these? Should I thanks god for letting me know? For fuck seriously.

1am

I waiting for fucking 8 month for the truth to be told, why each time all I knew is from myself?

1am

I don’t even know who to turn to when I need some one to accompany me.

9pm